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Footsteps Of Love

My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.


For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Friday, October 28, 2005

Just To Be


Just to be tender, just to be true,
Just to be glad the whole day through,
Just to be merciful, just to be mild,
Just to be trustful as a child;
Just to be gentle and kind and sweet,
Just to be helpful with willing feet...
Just to let love be our daily key,
That is God's will for you and me.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

The Brick

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me." Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!" God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Way To Go White Sox!


Congratulations!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Dear Mom and Dad

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are ok. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh, yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is ok. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up? The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked ok when we left. Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance. We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison.

I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters and buy some more beer. Don't worry about anything. We are fine.

Love, Chris

Monday, October 24, 2005

Bring What You Can Carry

Once there was an old rich man who was afraid of dying and leaving all his wealth behind on earth. So, he took up the matter with God. He pleaded day and night to be able to take all his earthly possessions with him.
Finally, God conceded. He said the man could take as much as he could fit in one suitcase. The old man immediately went out, bought a huge suitcase, sold all he owned and filled the suitcase with gold bars.
Shortly after that, the old man died. Awkwardly dragging the big, heavy suitcase, he approached St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter stopped him, asked him to open his luggage, and then told him he couldn't bring his gold bars into Heaven.The man was irate. "You don't understand," he said. "I got permission directly from God himself for this. He told me whatever I could fit into one suitcase, I could bring with me."
St. Peter, shrugged his shoulders and simply said, "Fine with me. But we've already got plenty of pavement here."

Just Ramblin'

Well, I'm surfin over at BlogAzoo, ok? And I'm new at this site so I'm trying to get the feel of it. I think I'm going to like it so far. I even picked up a gazoo and earned some credits! Woo Hoo!

Anyway....I set my preferences on Older Teens because I thought "well, there's not going to be any profanity or nudity to speak of on these sites." Boy, was I wrong! The first site I come to had pictures that shouldn't be shown on a site for "older teens" in the first place. Teens are still kids more or less.

So, I set my preferences AGAIN on Young Ages because I thought AGAIN "well, there's surely no profanity or nudity on these sites." Well, you guessed it. Wrong again! I come to a site that was worst than the first site.

Well, needless to say, BlogAzoo probably thinks that I'm just a whiner now because I've reported 3 sites. Oh, well, so be it. But when I surf a site for "All Ages" I expect a site that your kids can also enjoy. But hey, maybe it's just me. I'm going to continue surfing there because I do like the site and finding the gazoos is fun.

Why do people think that profanity is cool? Do they really think it makes them sound intelligent or cooler than cool?

What do you guys think?? And please, no profanity or I will be forced to delete the comment because after all, this site is for "All Ages."


Well, I guess I'm going to have to put word verification on this blog. I sure didn't want to but I can't take the spamming anymore. Sorry everybody!

Friday, October 21, 2005

Christians


When I say. . . “I am a Christian”, I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin’.”
I’m whispering “I was lost, now I’m found and forgiven.”
When I say. . . “I am a Christian”, I don’t speak of this with pride."
I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say. . . "I’m a Christian”, I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.
When I say. . . “I am a Christian”, I’m not claiming to be perfect; my flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.
When I say. . . “I am a Christian”, I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches so I call upon His name.
When I say. . . “I am a Christian”, I’m not holier than thou, I’m just a simple sinner who received God’s good grace, somehow!

By Maya Angelou

Thursday, October 20, 2005

The Stranger


A few months before I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around to welcome me into the world a few months later.
As I grew up I never questioned his place in our family. Mom taught me to love the Word of God, and Dad taught me to obey it, but the stranger was our storyteller. He could weave the most fascinating tales. Adventures, mysteries and comedies were daily conversations. He could hold our whole family spellbound for hours each evening.
He was like a friend to the whole family. He took Dad, Bill and me to our first major league baseball game. He was always encouraging us to see the movies, and he even made arrangements to introduce us to several movie stars.
The stranger was an incessant talker. Dad didn't seem to mind, but sometimes Mom would quietly get up while the rest of us were enthralled with one of his stories of faraway places, go to
her room, read her Bible and pray. I wonder now if she ever prayed that the stranger would leave.
You see, my dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but this stranger never felt an obligation to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our house-not from us, from our friends, or adults. Our longtime visitor, however, used occasional four-letter words that burned my ears and made Dad squirm. To my knowledge the stranger was never confronted.
My Dad was a teetotaler who didn't permit alcohol in his home, not even for cooking, but the stranger felt like we needed exposure and enlightened us to other ways of life. He offered us beer and other alcoholic beverages often. He made cigarettes look tasty, cigars manly and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely) about sex. His comments were sometimes
blatant, sometimes suggestive and generally embarrassing. I know now that my early concepts of the man/woman relationship were influenced by the stranger.
As I look back, I believe it was because of the grace of God that the stranger did not influence us more. Time after time he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked and
never asked to leave.
More than thirty years have passed since the stranger moved in with the young family on Morningside Drive. But if I were to walk into my parents' den today, you would still see him sitting over in a corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name?

We always just called him TV.


~Author Unknown~

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Tidbits of Wisdom


1. The best way to get even is to forget.
2. Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.
3. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts. 4. Some folks wear their halos much too tight.
5. Some marriages are made in heaven, but they ALL have to be maintained on earth.
6. Unless you can create the WHOLE universe in 5 days, then perhaps giving "advice" to God isn't such a good idea!
7. Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks up.
8. Standing in the middle of the road is dangerous. You will get knocked down by the traffic from both ways.
9. Words are windows to the heart.
10. A skeptic is a person who when he sees the handwriting on the wall, claims it's a forgery.
11. It isn't difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill, just add a little dirt.
12. A successful marriage isn't finding the right person; it's being the right person.
13. The mighty oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground.
14. Too many people offer God prayers with claw marks all over them.
15. The tongue must be heavy, indeed, because so few people can hold it.
16. To forgive is to set the prisoner free and then discover the prisoner was you.
17. You have to wonder about humans, they think God is dead and Elvis is alive!
18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.
19. You'll notice that a turtle only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.
20. If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher.

You are richer today if you have laughed, given, or forgiven!


Grandma's Cures

These are some "wives tales" that really work. And if they don't, well, please don't hold me responsible. I just pass the info on. Kinda entertaining to read them and if they do work, well, hey, you've just got a "wives tale" that you can pass on to someone else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately -- without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional pain relievers.

Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns.

Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.

Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.

Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.

Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly -- even though the product was never been advertised for this use.

Honey remedy for skin blemishes... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.

Listerine therapy for toenail fungus... Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.

Easy eyeglass protection... To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.

Coca-Cola cure for rust... Forget those expensive rust removers. Just saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done.

Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly.

Smart splinter remover...just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue all over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.

Hunt's tomato paste boil cure...cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.

Balm for broken blisters...To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine... a powerful antiseptic.

Heinz vinegar to heal bruises... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.

Kills fleas instantly. Dawn dish washing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas.

Rainy day cure for dog odor... Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh.

Eliminate ear mites... All it takes is a few drops of Wesson corn oil in your cat's ear. Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.

Quaker Oats for fast pain relief....It's not for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I love this story.....

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.
She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.
"There's one more thing," she said excitedly.
"What's that?" came the pastor's reply.
"This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."
The pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.
That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked.
"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor.
The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from there on out, I have always done so. I have also always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.'
It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!'
So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder "What's with the fork?" Then I want you to tell them: "Keep your fork ...the best is yet to come."
The pastor's eyes welled up wit h tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.
At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the pastor heard the question "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled.
During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.
He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork, let it remind you ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.
Show your friends how much you care. Remember to always be there for them, even when you need them more. For you never know when it may be their time to "Keep your fork."
Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share... being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility.

Keep Your Fork
Here is a couple of pics that people have sent me that I think are pretty cool. Enjoy!







Monday, October 10, 2005

We'll Be Back!


Well, I survived an OU/Texas game! And it wasn't pretty. They slaughtered us 45-12. We couldn't throw, run, catch, intercept, tackle, etc. But you know, everybody was pretty nice about it. Most people anyway. There were a few cocky Longhorn fans that really rubbed our face in it. But hey, they earned the right to do that for 1 year. I mean, after all, we've been rubbing for quite a few years now. So, we'll give 'em one year. But wait till next year, because we WILL be back! Congratulations Texas Longhorns! And I mean that from the bottom of my Sooner heart!


BEVO.....It's what's for dinner!





Let the Red River Rivalry continue!

Friday, October 07, 2005

Guilty or Not Guilty? That's the question!


I had an interesting discussion with a gentleman years ago that I was recently reminded of. It seems that there is a group of folks that are pushing the Ten Commandments to be continued in the public eye. They are the basis for everything that we know in American government. God’s law is the foundation for our Christian nation.


And yet, there are folks who think that they’ve somehow kept them. Well, I haven’t! In fact, I’ve broken them all. Yes, you heard it here! I have broken all 10 of God’s commandments. That was how my discussion went with the above person. He stated that he might not be a great person but he knew that he wouldn’t go to Hell because he’d never broken the Ten Commandments.


To be honest with you, I was shocked at such a statement! I replied that I had broken them all. He asked me why I thought that, and I explained it this way.


James tells us in chapter 2 verse 10 that whoever breaks even one point of the law is guilty of all. That means all ten must be met. Then we find that Paul says in Galatians 3:24 that the Law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ that we might be justified by faith. So the law is good in making us aware of right and wrong. A lot of people don’t like obeying speed limits but they are there for everyone’s safety and good.

Jesus said that He didn’t come to do away with the law but to fulfill it Matthew 5:17. So we know that God’s law is still applicable.

Getting back to my statement of breaking all ten, my discussion turned with the aforementioned gentleman and he asked me “But how have you broken them all? Surely you didn’t murder someone, right?” This is the way that I explained it to him.

1) Thou shalt have no other gods before Me… I have put other gods before the Lord. I have put emphasis on material things and even people and worshipped them. I gave time and money to my gods.

2) Thou shalt not make a graven image… I have made lots of these. Many of the things that I have created were given more emphasis than I did for the Lord.

3) Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord your God in vain. Even though I’ve never been in the habit of swearing and using God’s Name as a swear word, I have taken His Name in vain. I took His Name when I asked the Lord to come into my heart 30 years ago. Since then, I have not always lived up to or acted like the Christian that I was supposed to be. Therefore, I took His Name in vain every time.

4) Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy… I have not kept the Sabbath lots of times in my life. I remember a time when I went for weeks without resting and focusing on My Lord for weeks at a time. It is one of the hardest things to do for a workaholic.

5) Honor your father and mother… When I think about the times that I shamed my parents, I cringe. All the times that I should have honored them with my presence and didn’t are now coming back to me.

6) Thou shalt not kill…. Jesus said that if we hold hatred in our hearts towards others that we’ve already committed murder- Matthew 5:21-22. Many times in my life I have committed murder in my heart.

7) Thou shalt not commit adultery… That’s right, I’m guilty. Jesus said that even looking on a woman to lust after her is already guilty.

8) Thou shalt not steal…I’ve taken material possessions that weren’t mine and I’ve even stolen time away from my family for hobbies that weren’t worth my time… guilty!

9) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor… yep, you’ve got it. I’m guilty of gossip and lies about those around me. I’m trying to learn to keep my big mouth shut…

10)Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s possessions…Oh, Yeah. I’m sorry to disappoint you but even a plain, non-materialistic Christian has a battle with coveting. Even though I don’t desire the flashier stuff of this world, I still covet tools, land and other items that someone else owns and at times wish that I had them.


You see, I’m guilty of them all. Every time someone accuses someone else of breaking the “Big Ten” they are right! I think you might even agree that you’re not innocent either! The truth is we’re all guilty. We’ve been caught!


So what is a person to do? If we’ve broken God’s laws, how can we ever pay the fine? When I looked it up to see what it would cost me, I realized that I didn’t have enough in my bank account to cover it! Romans 6:23-


Jesus said that we have to repent -Mark 1:14-15- That means to turn around and go the other way. Where a person has made decisions to break God’s law in the past, they must now live differently. If we’ve been truly Born-Again we have the Spirit of God living in us and we feel guilty for breaking the laws. If we do break them after that, the Holy Spirit disciplines us and we won’t have peace until we are sorry and ask for forgiveness.


You can’t have life without pain. Remember, dead people feel no pain! That’s why they can sin and not feel like it’s wrong. Those that are alive in Christ will have the law written on their hearts Jeremiah 31:33 and32:40


So to finalize, we are all guilty! We have only one advocate with the Father, through the Son, Christ Jesus. Aren’t you glad that he paid the cost? Turn from your ways and sin no more!

WRITTEN BY PAUL BURRELL

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Who God Uses

The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember:

Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
Peter denied Christ

The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer
Lazarus was dead!

No more excuses now. God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger.


Monday, October 03, 2005

PET RULES


Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note: Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it to become your dish and food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest!

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep at right angles to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out at the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.




For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is to kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's behind. I cannot stress this enough!








And for your comfort, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

RULES FOR NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND MIGHT WANT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:



1. They live here; you don't.

2. If you don't want hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"niture.

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like some people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, and does not speak clearly.

5. Finally, remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they eat less; don't ask for money all the time; are easier to train; usually come when called; never drive your car; don't hang out with drug-using friends; don't smoke or drink; don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions; don't wear your clothes; don't need a gazillion dollars for college; and if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.