15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3" in Housewares and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the Sporting Goods department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the Bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone"?

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the Sporting Goods department, ask the clerk if she/he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

12. In the Automotive department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say "PICK ME"!

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again"!!!!

And last, but not least:

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait awhile; and then yell very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here"!