Christian Banner Exchange
The Gospel Banner Exchange

Turn on your speakers and enjoy a music video located at bottom of page! (please take time to load)

Here are all of my friends on Goldtoken.com

Footsteps Of Love

My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.


For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Saturday, December 31, 2005

North vs. South

The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses.

The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has double last names, The South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races, The South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.

The North has green salads, The South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters, The South has crawfish.

The North has the rust belt, The South has the Bible Belt.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . . In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin." is a valid defense here

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

3 Comments:

  • At 11:50 AM, Blogger Annette Burkett said…

    You get credit for being the first to make me laugh this year. My mother's side of the family is 100% Northern and my father's side is 100% Southern. I've lived in Arkansas my whole life. What you said was SOOOOOOO true. Too funny!!! Have a wonderful and blessed 2006!

     
  • At 2:50 PM, Blogger JBL said…

    Makes me proud to be from the South!! By the way, you may not call kittens born in te oven biscuits but my grandmama made cathead biscuits!!!

     
  • At 3:03 PM, Blogger 4given4ever said…

    Cathead biscuits...that's funny. My grandma used to make stuff all the time and have funny names for them. Thank you both for visiting and please come back soon.

     

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home